i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
