Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so let's talk penis.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
