so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
