The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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