You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
