office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
