I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
