His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
