Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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