Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
