we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
