I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
