She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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