You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
