I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
