apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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