In the future we'll all be gay
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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