Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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