Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
