I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
