Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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