So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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