You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
i think im in europe. pls send help
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
