Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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