ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
