I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
