What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
