There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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