Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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