i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i already hear my dad disowning me
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
