Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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