That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
