So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
