dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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