i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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