Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
