I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
