There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
