Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
