ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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