my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
