I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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