There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
