Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
The air taste purple.
Randomize
