More tranny stories later!
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My bed smells like the plague
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