legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
