butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
