he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
