He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
