who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i came on her dog
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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